Welcome To My Mind.

Hello to all of you out there wandering around in the vast expanse of the internet world. This is my very first post, my first attempt at putting my thoughts down and making sense of all of it so I can't promise it will be very interesting or really flow all that well. It's only polite to introduce myself, my name is Jennifer and I'm 25 years old from the New York metro area and I have been suffering from Chronic Daily Migraines for just about two and a half years now. Unlike a lot of migraineurs I did not start having them in childhood or in my teens, and I can actually pin point the exact date they all started. I was adjusted by a chiropractor who was treating me for lower back pain, he adjusted my neck and I walked out that night feeling a funny pain in the back of my head and.. it snowballed into something worse and never left.

I'm not sure whether or not it's good that I can look back and see exactly where and when they started, in one way it gives me an entity to blame other than some higher being but on the flip side I feel the most angry at myself for going to the chiropractor to begin with. I wonder how different my life would be if I had just decided to leave my back pain alone, or had I requested that my neck not be adjusted, just anything to change the outcome. Where would I be right now if I didn't have chronic migraines? It has changed so much of my life, so much of who I am as a person.

Before they started I was just beginning to blossom as an adult, I went on my first international trip by myself and had a blast, I attempting to claw my way up in the company I was working for.. things seemed to be going relatively well. And now? I'm unemployed, disabled by the migraines and an injury to my hand. I barely ever make plans to do things any more because I'm afraid I'll have to cancel them because of a migraine. I feel like I live my life on egg shells, always afraid to move in any direction because of the fear and anxiety that surrounds my condition.

Lately I've been getting into researching migraines and talking with others online who are in the same boat, I had no idea that there were so many other people dealing with the same problem and feeling the same things that I felt.. or literally just being in the same position. Yesterday while I was still inpatient in the hospital for migraines I spoke with someone on Facebook who was inpatient as well and receiving the same medication that I was. I think migraineurs have a tendency to feel very alone because of the stigma that surrounds the condition. We get told to take a tylenol, it's just a headache, why can't we just keep functioning like everyone else? So we just fold up deep inside of ourselves and when we finally find a way to communicate with a person in the same place as us we cling onto it like a small beacon of hope that maybe we're not so alone as we feel.

Anyway, I'm trying to get involved in a bunch of projects right now. I joined the National Headache Foundation, and the American Pain Foundation. I've been looking for seminars or similar events to attend in New York or nearby states that maybe would provide me with more information about the headache world right now. I also just ordered 'A Brain Wider Than The Sky' by Andrew Levy and I'm going to Barnes & Noble tomorrow to pick up Migraines by Oliver Sacks. I just want to soak up as much information as humanly possibly. I guess I believe if I can understand why I have them and where the pain comes from it will make it a little bit easier to deal with. I also just like understanding why things work.

If anyone out there in the giant vastness has a recommendation for something to get involved in, or a book to read or anything like that feel free to shoot me a message.